Fyodor's Headlinks make their triumphant return!

Just another day in the universe, kiddies.

• Many doctors harbor 'embarrassing' secret

  Across the country, family physicians and even surgeons are going broke.

Ha! Just wait until they are forced to work in Okhrana's government abattoirs.

• Body found on Queen's estate may be missing 17-year-old girl
• Police: Navy SEAL accidentally shoots himself in the head
• Scientist asks: Why was Pompeii such a mess?

• Gingrich to black people: Demand paychecks, not food aid

Let me guess...Newt's a racist.

• 'Mission: Impossible' star unscathed in Thai bar fight
• Three Air Force cadets charged with sexual misconduct
• 200 million people use illicit drugs, study finds
• Son of actor Ryan O'Neal arrested after domestic dispute
• Snow-free season turns U.S. winter tourism upside down