THE END IS NIGH!

Kiddies, the Okhranian Luddites were right. Man has reached the terminus of technological advancement and now we must go back to gathering nuts and berries and voting communist.

What could have so crushed my spirit, you ask?




They did it, kiddies. They have actually created a razor so big it cannot be used to shave between one's nose and one's upper lip. [Go ahead. Ask any member of NOW if you doubt me.]

Of course, this could be the work of the powerful Midwestern mustache interests...