1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.
2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.
3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.
4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.
5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.
This post concludes another spectacular season of college football picks for Your Humble Servant. Sadly, I could not find any point spreads for Slippery Rock's games this year, once again disappointing my friends in Texas. (You probably have to be a Longhorn fan to get that one, kiddies.)
I do not pick bowl games because they are all meaningless exhibitions.
DEATH TO THE BCS!
That being said, here are my college picks for this week.
Thursday 11/30
MAC Championship at Ford Field, Detroit
Ohio University (+3) versus Central Michigan
The Bobcats are going to their first bowl game in eons whether they win or lose. I'll take CMU to cover one more time.
FINAL: Central Michigan 31 Ohio 10 - Fyodor wins!
Saturday 12/2
Connecticut (+27) at Louisville
Give me UConn and the points.
FINAL: Louisville 48 UConn 17 - Fyodor loses!
ACC Championship at ALLTEL Stadium, Jacksonville
Wake Forest (+2.5) versus Georgia Tech
I want to believe in Cinderella. Besides, the Yellow Jackets are not very good. I'll take Wake.
FINAL: Wake Forest 9 Georgia Tech 6 - Fyodor wins!
Army (+20.5) versus Navy
at Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia
Again, this is the only game that really matters. I'll take Army and the points in this, the greatest rivalry of all.
FINAL: Navy 26 Army 14 - Fyodor wins! (Bobby Ross will make the Army program a winner.)
Stanford (+29) at California
Just for laughs, I'll take the Fightin' SATs (Heck, it's better than a color.) and the points over Cal.
FINAL: Cal 26 Stanford 17 - Fyodor wins!
Air Force (+17) at TCU
I have been screwing up Air Force games all season long. That's why I'll take the Horned Frogs (Sweet.) to cover.
FINAL: TCU 38 Air Force 14 - Fyodor wins!
USC (-13.5) "at" UCLA
The Trojans take care of business. They'll cover.
FINAL: UCLA 13 USC 9 - Fyodor loses! (Wow. Congrats to the Bruins for an inspired win. BTW, kiddies, this is why they call it gambling.)
SEC Championship at the Georgia Dome, Atlanta
Arkansas (+3) versus Florida
1) Florida has no offense. 2) I get 3 points! Take the Razorbacks.
FINAL: Florida 38 Arkansas 28 -Fyodor loses! (Did the Gators find enough O to beat Ohio State? I doubt it, but at least we don't have to suffer through an OSU-Michigan rematch. All BCS haters must now hope for huge Buckeye and Wolverine wins in their respective bowls. That should create a whole bunch more hate.)
Rutgers (+10) at West Virginia
WVU looked awful at home last week. Even though that means nothing this week, I'll take Rutgers and the points.
FINAL: WVU 41 Rutgers 39 - Fyodor wins! (I would have loved to see a Rutgers-Wake Forest Orange Bowl...)
Big 12 Championship at Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City
Nebraska (+3.5) versus Oklahoma
I'll go with the Sooners on my penultimate hunch of the season.
FINAL: Oklahoma 21 Nebraska 7 - Fyodor wins!
Oregon State (+7.5) at Hawaii
I'll take the Rainbow Warriors one more time.
FINAL: Oregon State 35 Hawaii 32 - Fyodor loses! (That'swhy they call them hunches, kiddies.)
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