Let us mortify ourselves, faithful Catholics, and offer our suffering to God for the conversion of all souls afflicted by false religion.

Yes, kiddies, mortification. An oldie, to be sure, but a goodie.

Sure, hair shirts and whipping work, but why don't we all skip a couple of meals a week and send the money we save to the Catholic missionaries in Africa, where mohammedans are still selling blacks into slavery after all these centuries?

Oh, and one more thing.

In order to prevent the mohammedans from thinking we're picking on them, don't forget to pray for the conversion of our Jewish, "protestant", Hindu, Shinto, animist, and godless left-fascist totalitarian thug brothers and sisters, too.