What I Did On My Summer Vacation by Fyodor Garibaldi

1) I learned the word "moxie" is not Yiddish. The soda pop name was apparently made up from whole cloth. Who knew?

2) I learned hippos are retromingent.

3) I sustained one (1) minor injury.

4) I bought some Martha Stewart sheets at K-Mart. I normally avoid giving money to convicted criminals (e.g.* not buying Pete Rose's autograph, not paying taxes) but they were on sale and I figured Martha would know how uncomfortable bad sheets can be.

* exempli gratia, "for the sake of an example"