Fyodor recalls a creepy dream from last night.

I usually don't remember them, kiddies, but this one stuck. Some of the details are a little fuzzy...

I was walking in Tokyo with Jennifer Love Hewitt... (Sure it's a dream, but you never know...) Or maybe we were walking in L.A., surrounded by Japanese tourists...

Anyway, it seems the latest Japanese fad in dreamland is signing other people's underwear. Since I'm still a nobody even in my own dreams, it is not surprising I was asking Japanese strangers to sign my unmentionables, but Miss Love Hewitt was doing the same thing. And that's it.

I know, I know. Even my dreams are boring. Even my half-naked dreams featuring sexy Hollyweird starlets are boring.

That being said, Miss Love Hewitt, if you are even remotely intrigued, have your people call my people.


Memo To The Freudians: Keep it to yourself. Nobody cares what you believe.