ATTENTION! All you Anglo-Saxons out there trying to extort six bucks from us dagos for a tuna melt by calling it a "panini", CUT IT OUT!

Ack! That's chicken you-know-what on a croissant! Get that French stuff outta here!

That's better, even though it has turkey on it instead of capicola and Genoa salami. And that olive is a rather effete touch, don't you think?

Face the facts. You wouldn't know a panini if it took your daughter to the prom.

Take pride in your extremely limited culinary heritage and call it what it is, a freakin' tuna melt. And lower the price to a more reasonable $3.00.

(Humblest appy-polly loggies, kiddies. Old Fyodor had a bad lunch hour today.)