Fyodor's Pro Football Playoffs Picks of the Week.

1) The guys who set the lines are professionals. Their job is to make each game look as attractive as possible to everyone. That way they even out the amount of money bet on each side.
Instant translation: The house wins no matter who wins. That's why people get into the gambling business.

2) I am just a fan. I won't even keep track of these picks week to week if it gets too embarrassing.

3) There is no such thing as "inside information". Especially in the pros.

4) If those idiot touts on tv and in the paper were any good, they wouldn't go public with their genius. They'd sit at Harrah's sports book from open to close and then go out and buy $2,000 an hour hookers who dress like high school girls.
5) Gambling is stupid. You cannot win.

That being said, here are my NFL picks for this week.


Saturday 1/7


Washington (+2.5) at Tampa Bay
I'll take Portis and Brunell over Williams and Simms, and that means the defenses will probably determine the winner. Take the Redskins to cover.
FINAL: Redskins 17 Buccaneers 10 - Fyodor wins! (Tampa needs some help on offense. And eliminate those turnovers, Chucky!)


Jacksonville (+7.5) at New England
This is a big number but I'm still tempted to take the Patriots. Playoff experience and all that. Plus everybody seems to be picking the Jaguars to cover. What the heck, I'll take New England to win big.
FINAL: Patriots 28 Jaguars 3 - Fyodor wins! (It turns out Byron Leftwich is a Caucasian-American African-American quarterback with a bad ankle.)


Sunday 1/8




Carolina (+2.5) at NY Giants
I said the Giants would not win a playoff game and I'm sticking to my guns. Carolina has not been playing well of late, but neither has New York. Take the Panthers to cover.
FINAL: Panthers 23 Giants 0 - Fyodor wins! (Giants didn't show up and Tiki Barber blames the coach. Could be, but I doubt it. Carolina is just better.)


Pittsburgh (-3) at Cincinnati
It is time for the Steelers to once again show the Bengals who's boss. Vegas opened this game at Cincy -3 last Sunday, and by Monday the line had been bet down to Pittsburgh -3. That makes me nervous because I figure almost everybody betting is a complete moron. Nonetheless, I will pick the Steelers to win and cover.
FINAL: Steelers 31 Bengals 17 - Fyodor wins! (If their defense plays like this against the Colts, the Steelers are going to be embarassed. Indy opened at - 9.5!)