The fascist left and its non-Euclidean sex sub-genre must not be allowed to screw with the language (Remember the sad fate of the poor little word "gay"?) anymore, so the proposed neo-logism "homo-marriage" is out.
Marriage is a particular thing and has been that same particular thing for quite some time. If the Army of Sodom wants to play ball (so to speak), they will have to come up with something that does not pervert the meaning of the word marriage. They can have all the legal and tax rights (and don't forget the responsibilities, boys) that come with being married. They just can't be "married".
I would like to propose making the new queer commitment moniker "Potatoes au Gratin".
Sure, it would piss off Idaho and the food service industry, but it has the added advantage of insulting the French. (We could simply rename the dish "Gooey Cholesterol Spuds" or something.)
Think of the poetic beauty of two sodomites exchanging vows au gratin. "How long have you two been potatoed?" polite heterosexuals would ask their interior designer and his assistant.
The era of peace and harmony that would follow such a radical move would be beautiful. No longer would decent people have to fear the totalitarian perverts' attempts to hijack the language in order to hide who they are and what they do. Ah...if only...
Of course, kiddies, Fyodor is just an idea man. Putting such a thing into action I shall leave for others. Many of you might object that "homosexual potatoes au gratin" is too obscurantist a phrase. I'm willing to concede that. But think about it for a minute. Maybe they hide behind euphemisms like Frenchmen behind the Maginot Line because they fear their own ickiness. (Wow. I must be getting old.)
If that is the case, can you blame me for not getting any more explicit than potatoes au gratin? Imagine the horror if we called it what it was...
No comments:
Post a Comment