Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Pity poor Mrs. Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie (Forgive me if I missed a couple of her "husbands".)

These days this vapid cow can only get noticed when some animal trys to finish the job 47 years of ignorance and perversion have only begun.

Madonna's 47th birthday celebration was marred Tuesday when she suffered several broken bones in a horse riding accident at her country home outside London, her publicist told The Associated Press.

The superstar was treated and released from a hospital after sustaining three cracked ribs, a broken collarbone and a broken hand, according to Liz Rosenberg, her spokeswoman based in New York.

Madonna's husband, director Guy Ritchie, took her to the hospital, Rosenberg said.

The accident occurred Tuesday at Ashcombe house, the couple's 1,354-acre estate about 100 miles southwest of London.

Madonna and an assistant were riding when Madonna, on a horse she wasn't accustomed to riding, took a tumble. Her children, Rocco and Lourdes, were at the home but weren't with her at the time, Rosenberg said.

La Ciccone-Penn-Ritchie is famous for "re-inventing" her public image and keeping her increasingly hideous mug in front of the cameras. It is obviously time for her to try the trick again.

If I may be so bold, I would like to suggest a new direction for her career.

Coprophilia.

I know. But hear me out.

She has always been cutting edge. Ahead of the curve, even. And it's not like she'd be molesting animals or kids. (Some people really get upset over that stuff.)

All she has to do is appear to eat some. On stage. In front of thousands.

Imagine what Katie Couric would do to get the interview after that!

It wouldn't even have to be real. She has plenty (well...) of Hollyweird contacts. I am sure some special effects wiz could create a realistic substitute made out of lemon grass or something that would also be pleasant tasting and even nutritious.

Imagine the possibilities inherent in the phrase The Coprophilia World Tour.

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