From The Only In America Department:

The Dartmouth On-line announces human flesh flavored tofu. (Can you imagine what the focus group tests were like?)

According to Mark Nuckols Tu'06, humans do not taste anything like chicken. The founder and CEO of Hufu, LLC -- the company that produces hufu, a type of tofu that simulates the texture and flavor of human flesh -- claims that his company's product "tastes like beef but a little softer in texture and a little sweeter in taste."

"I have to admit that I myself have never sampled human flesh," Nuckols said. "However, I've done quite a bit of research on the history and anthropology of cannibalism and read enough accounts to have come up with a fairly good approximation."

This stuff could have possibly saved Jeff Dahmer.

His product, which contains zero fat and 100 calories per ounce-sized serving, was developed by a Dutch food processor and will be available through his website, eathufu.com, which is set to launch Thursday. The website, which ships internationally, will initially only offer Hufu Classic Strips, which, according to Nuckols, "will basically resemble the choicer flesh, which is upper arms, thighs and buttocks." Nuckols, however, assures customers that plans have been made to develop Hufu Hearts and Dr. Lector's Liver.

"For the cannibal gourmand, those are really the best parts," Nuckols said, noting that a recipe for Dr. Lector's Liver and Fava Beans will also be available on the website, along with several Aztec recipes and pieces of literature about cannibals. Nuckols called the website, which will also feature hufu t-shirts and aprons, "an entrée into thinking about cultural practices of other people."

Some, however, are skeptical about the success of hufu.

"It definitely tastes meaty, maybe a little like pork," Thaddeus Olchowski '08 said at a tasting offered by Nuckols at Tuck yesterday. "I don't like tofu and I don't like human flesh so I don't think I'll be buying this. It definitely tastes like something I've had at Food Court."
(Thanks to WND)

If you think this is scary, wait until Hitlery Clinton finds out that eating fetus diminishes wrinkles.