From The Get Your Kids Out Of The Government Schools Department:

Great Moments in Public Education

"The Teacher of the Year for the Lucia Mar Unified School District cannot be named within the space of this story," reports the San Luis Obispo (Calif.) Tribune:
"It's everyone," said Branden Leach, president of the Lucia Mar Unified Teachers Association.

All 575 instructors in San Luis Obispo County's largest school district are winners, he said. "We all help children in our own special way."
The name of the winner was to have been announced at tonight's school board meeting. Instead, Leach will read a statement explaining why the union has decided not to pick a single winner this year.

Leach explains that the union actually means to make a political statement: "choosing one among us as the best is similar to merit pay," which Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger supports. Leach says that in the past when the union named a teacher of the year, "the winner invariably said 'I'm not the best.' " We're not sure arguing that all teachers are equally bad is the best way to win public support.
(Thanks to James Taranto of Best of the Web Today)